MELLOW YELLOW, THE MAYOR,  DONOVAN AND  AN ELECTRIC BANANA  WHICH WENT PEAR SHAPED

THE TRUE STORY OF A FABLED ARTWORK  WHICH USED THE WRONG RECIPE

Back in the mid 1960s, the days of flower power and a few substances, other than alcohol, which could mess with your head  I was fortunate enough to be living and working in the middle of London. 

Naturally I was cautious about imbibing in substances other than water or eating anything more adventurous than a cucumber sandwich.

At that time, around 1965,  a young troubadour by the name of Donovan was making waves in the music world. His lyrics were a little difficult to understand but a modicum of research has revealed that he may have been the unwitting instigator of the great artwork in Fremantle which is now refusing to leave. 

MELLOW YELLOW

One of his hits from around 1966 was ‘Mellow Yellow’. Nobody has actually been able to work out what it was all about, let alone Donovan himself.  

One verse runs:

Electrical banana

Is gonna be a sudden craze

Electrical banana

Is bound to be the very next phase

Nobody actually knew what an Electric Banana was.  Donovan was unable to offer a clear explanation and there may have been a good reason.

However one story is that an Electric Banana was made by getting a couple of sticks of Juicy Fruit chewing gum and inserting them under the skin of the ‘nana. The fruit was then left to mature over a few days and, in fact, go a little mouldy. Hence ‘Mellow Yellow’ Then, and there are several versions of this, you simply peel the banana and eat it, gum and all. The net results were some pretty wild hallucinations.

Some people say it didn’t work. I confess my memory is not serving me well.

FAST FORWARD TO FREO FESTIVAL 2017

It does appear that our mayor  dreamt that a  lot of banana shaped curves, draped artistically on the walls of the West End buildings, would serve the city well. 

Thus the dream of Brad and Felice the Artist came to fruition (fruit being the operative word). The High Street was decorated with banana peel look-alike graphics. It worked and the world woke up to the dream.

Sadly, or at least amusingly, the artwork is refusing to leave us and true to the legend, going a little mouldy. It’s now supplying endless entertainment. It is, as the mayor likes to expound – a sustainable dream come true. 

MISSING: PAINT STRIPPER AND AN  ELECTRIC DILDO

Those of us who have been around since well before the last rains know the original recipe for the Mellow Yellow bananas didn’t work too well. 

A modified version was derived using Dichloromethane injected into the bananas. It apparently worked wonders. But here’s the real rub – Dichloromethane is  nothing more than paint stripper! Had the Mayor used an up-dated recipe for the idea in the first place maybe the art would disappear immediately, just like any other hallucinogen. (I’m not sure up-dated is the right word)

Of course it doesn’t end there. Donovan did at one time confess he’d heard an electric banana is a yellow, battery powered, dildo. 

The mind boggles but there may be enough of them in the sex shop in High Street to supply council members with a few to strip paint, or whatever moves their fancy. I didn’t use ‘up-dated’ in this paragraph but was tempted.

Here are the lyrics to Mellow Yellow. Maybe they can sing along to them while they work and dream.

MELLOW YELLOW (Written by © Donovan Leith, circa 1965)

I’m just mad about Saffron

Saffron’s mad about me

I’m just mad about Saffron

She’s just mad about me

They call me mellow yellow

(Quite rightly)

They call me mellow yellow

(Quite rightly)

They call me mellow yellow

I’m just mad about Fourteen

Fourteen’s mad about me

I’m just mad about Fourteen

She’s just mad about me

They call me mellow yellow

They call me mellow yellow

(Quite rightly)

They call me mellow yellow

Born high forever to fly

Wind velocity nil

Wanna high forever to fly

If you want your cup I will fill

They call me mellow yellow

(Quite rightly)

They call me mellow yellow

(Quite rightly)

They call me mellow yellow

Electrical banana

Is gonna be a sudden craze

Electrical banana

Is bound to be the very next phase

They call me mellow yellow

(Quite rightly)

They call me mellow yellow

(Quite rightly)

They call me mellow yellow

Saffron, yeah

I’m just mad about her

I’m just mad about Saffron

She’s just mad about me

They call me mellow yellow

(Quite rightly)

They call me mellow yellow

(Quite rightly)

They call me mellow yellow

Roger Garwood

Editor: <editorbackchat@gmail.com

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WHOOPS! “FUCK YOU BRAD”.

I dare not use the term “FUCK YOU BRAD”. 

Many of us are beginning to realise the leadership of council is rather self centred, thin skinned and demonstrably inept. In fact there is concern as to who is actually directing the city. 

DOES THE MAYOR REALLY GIVE A FUCK?

Poor Brad didn’t have his familiar cheesy grin in place when The Herald printed their controversial headline a couple of weeks ago. He delivered  a severe rap over the knuckles to The Herald’s editorial team. It must have been like being hit in the kisser with a damp (undoubtably recycleable) nappy.

YET HE WAS SILENT WHEN AN EX SQUEEZE ADVISED YOUNG GIRLS ‘FORGET YOUR PANTS’  WHEN GOING TO CONCERTS’.

A few weeks ago Brad did not say a word, other than provide tacit endorsement, when one of his former ‘squeezes’, City Ward Councillor Rachel Pemberton, encouraged girls who were planning  to attend the Falls Festival to wear a recommended dress code:

‘NO KNICKERS, SEE THROUGH BRA (or no bra) and FUCK ME BOOTS”’ 

Pemberton made  the comments  on her ratepayer funded blog. 

Is there a sniff of hypocrisy in the council chamber? You bet there is.

The Herald team apologised over the juxtaposition of their headline which made it appear the comment was made by indigenous leader Bropho. But the story was solid.

THE TROLLS WERE OUT

It seems obvious that the Cult of Brad was activated over the headline which clearly ruffled the poor possum’s fur and the trolls were sent out to do battle. The Herald’s letter pages were littered with the cult’s self righteous comments.

WHO IS THE REAL HERO?

Fremantle Backchat would like to meet the real hero of this story – the woman who told the Mayor to get fucked.

Here’s the original story from the Herald, sans Mr Bropho.

Trolls can contact:

Roger Garwood, Editor, Backchat

editorbackchat@gmail.com

COUNCILLOR PEMBERTON: “FREE BOOB AND ‘F*CK ME’ BOOTS”

FREO COUNCILLOR ENDORSES ‘FREE BOOB AND F*CK ME’ DRESS CODE FOR FALLS FESTIVAL GIRLS

Fremantle City Ward Councillor Rachel Pemberton endorsed a sexually explicit dress code for girls attending the Falls Festival in Fremantle last weekend (6th & 7th December). Following a series of alleged sexual assaults at the Falls Festival in Tasmania Pemberton wrote on her blog:

“Women’s fashion tips from Falls – pants are optional, a transparent bra is a visible alternative to a top or you can simply ‘free boob’, and ‘f*ck me’ boots are back in fashion”.

The statement was revealed by Freo Streetwise, magazine edited and published by journalist Carmelo Amalifi. Streetwise is rapidly gaining a reputation for tackling the hard news in Fremantle and calling the City Council to account.

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Screenshot from Freo Steetwise Facebook page which attracted condemnation of City Ward Councillor Rachel Pemberto’s comment.

 

TACIT SUPPORT FOR PEMBERTON FROM MAYOR AND COUNCIL

The story, published on the Streetwise magazines Facebook page, has resulted in condemnation from the community but gained tacit support from Mayor Brad Pettitt, a former partner of Pemberton, and North Fremantle Councillor Doug Thompson. Instead of offering a reasonable explanation for her statement Pemberton, in the face of concerned critics, simply accused them of cyber bullying.

OPPORTUNITY LOST

Pemberton, a high profile councillor, had the opportunity to condemn the dress code she publicly endorsed. She had an outstanding chance to support the right of women to wear whatever they wish, wherever they wish, without making themselves targets of sexual predators. She promoted the  opposite position,  giving credence to predatory sexual behaviour. Thompson, the city’s longest service councillor, made the observation that comments condemning Rachel Pemberton demonstrated the worst aspects of social media.

Thompson’s comment, endorsed  by Pettitt, ignored the issue of the City Ward Councillor’s sexually explicit post, thus offering tacit support. Nor, (at the time of writing), has any councillor criticised Pemberton. The comments on the Facebook page of Freo Streetwise presented an opportunity for Pemberton to explain in detail her post, maybe to apologise for it. Her only defense was to accuse critics of bullying. They didn’t. They were shocked, wanted an explanation  and called for her dismissal, resignation and an inquiry into council’s code of ethics.The problems faced at Falls in Tasmania were published nationally over a number of days.

PEMBERTON: A QUESTIONABLE ROLE MODEL

Recent Mayoral challenger Ra Stewart said:

“Rachel Pemberton as the mother of two young women attending this event I am appalled at your comments. There was no suggestion about female empowerment in your statement, you provided commentary on a dress code and the inference was most definitely derogative. I would hate to think how your comments are interpreted by young men, let alone my daughters.”

Stewart questioned Pemberton’s position as a role model in the city.

“You’re kidding right… Rachel Pemberton, as a leader in our city, Councillor, and role model (?) for our young women”.

APPALLING & IRRESPONSIBLE:

Claudia Green, an expert in governance – the manner in which all branches of government should operate – and recent City Ward candidate, commented:

“ …Councillor Pemberton is in breach of her role and responsibility as an elected representative and public servant paid from the public purse, apart from the appalling message she is sending. 

“She has claimed a conflict of interest to abrogate her duties to represent her electorate in the Sunset development planning application by accepting freebies from Sunset. Now this awful abrogation of responsibility of her duties as an elected representative of public service. 

“The CEO and the Mayor need to bring her into line and reprimand her and be brought to the appropriate Committee for discipline. She should be sacked. Once verified, a complaint will be laid. She is bringing the Council into disrepute.”

Green is correct in calling on the Mayor and CEO to refer the matter to a disciplinary committee. Together  with other posted comments she asks for Pemberton to be sacked. However the early signs from council indicate that all councillors will offer tacit support to Pemberton’s unconscionable, amoral, advice.

Rachel Pemberton could demonstrate a moral and ethical backbone by admitting her vacuous judgement, apologise and resign immediately. If any councillors have any morality or understanding of professional ethics they will condemn Pemberton, call for her resignation and get on with the job of running a city in crisis.

By not condemning Pemberton’s blog post the mayor and his councillor’s are endorsing an increasing public opinion that they are out of touch with the wishes of the community for higher standards of professional ethics and morality to be demonstrated. At the very least Councillor Pemberton, who receives substantial payments from ratepayers, should be stood down and an independent inquiry, with representation by ratepayers, held. A closed door cover-up will not be acceptable.

NOTE: It appears that Pemberton has recently removed her blog post but no explanation or apology is offered.

 

Roger Garwood

editorbackchat@gmail.com

 

 

SPIN CITY

SPIN CITY: $650,000 BUDGET FOR PUBLIC RELATIONS
Fremantle journalist Carmelo Amalfi has revealed Fremantle Council has so far spent $650,000 on a public relations campaign.
Ratepayers Face Conflicting Evidence of Visitor Numbers
The Mayor, Dr Brad Pettitt, paraphrasing spin from Sirona, stated in late September that Fremantle has 1,600,000 tourists per year.
He claims this will increase to 3,000,000 when the Myer makeover is completed but quickly contradicted himself, announcing the Fremantle Festival Parade will be cancelled because visitor numbers are not high enough.
The parade will be replaced by a shopping trolley race to held in King’s Square to raise money for charity. There should be no shortage of competitors. Within fifty metres of the mayor’s office there are enough homeless people using shopping trolleys to harness their belongings in their shopping trollies and head for the starting line.
On the 5th October the Mayor quoted conflicting visitor numbers. These show that in the financial years of 2015-2016 and 2016-2017 visitor figures were a little short of 1.3 million per year, 300,000 less than figure of 1.6m Dr Pettitt had previously quoted which he said were obtained from the Department of Tourism.
The Mayors latest statistics show the Festival period of November has a very high visitor rating, only marginally  lower  than the Christmas and Easter holiday periods.
So why cancel the Festival Parade which has been the highlight of the annual ten day festival for 20 years?
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Homeless and in sight of the Mayor’s office. This person was camped here for weeks and  then the election campaign got into gear. It appears that he has found a home or was moved on by Fremantle Council’s security squad. In the past few days a lot of people seem to have been ‘moved along’. In defence of the security detail it must be said they operate with a great deal of tact and understanding but they are only a band aid solution.

EMERGING DYSTOPIAN SOCIETY
It’s not difficult to spot the city’s emerging dystopian society. Retail trade in the West End is collapsing. Within a stone’s throw of the Town Hall, where rents for a medium size retail outlet are as high as $240,000, homeless people sleep in the empty doorways. Of course the problem is solved easily – move them on. We now have a security team recruited by council to clean up the streets, moving less than fortunate people away. Out of sight, out of mind! A band aid solution for an increasing problem and a clear sign of a city in crisis.
While this is happening Spin City HQ is in full swing. The council are reportedly burning a budget in excess of $650,000 to try and make the Magic Pudding rise. Coincidently this feel good spin is happening during the lead up to an election where challengers to the Koolaid Council, followers of The Cult Of Brad, are fighting for seats and salaries Fremantle ratepayers are funding the spin campaign.
THE ONE EYED MAN IS KING
We’re told that the Myer makeover will see Fremantle’s economy rise, Phoenix like, from the ashes of an eight year autocracy.
The Mayor is commendably one eyed about the city’s future. But in the land of the blind the one eyed man is king. There is also  a biblical saying: ” When a blind man bears the standard, pity those who follow.”

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The CBD’s latest victim closed last week

FINANCIAL GOAL POSTS MOVED IN A SMOK AND MIRRORS ACT
The city’s overbearing spin has sparse factual substance but when the financial facts related to the King’s Square development were exposed by financial expert Martin Lee and City Ward candidate Claudia Green, they were brushed under the carpet. Those facts, based on figures obtained from council, show Fremantle faces a  financial collapse leaving ratepayers to fill a black hole of up to $50,000,000.
This financial collapse was recently endorsed by the Minister who stated Fremantle is a city at financial risk. Fremantle had the worst financial rating on the State’s Local Government website.
Fremantle Council claimed that was not the case explaining they had moved the goal posts in the accounting system, hence the poor showing of 42 points in a statewide list of councils’ finances. 70 points is the benchmark for good financial health.
Within a fee days the goal posts were moved again. Fremantle now has a rating of 85! Questions must be asked about how this smoke and mirrors act came about.
Was the Minister mislead, were Treasury so incompetent they misread the city’s accounts? Did all ratepayers  come down with the last shower and believe this overnight turnaround? Was there a moment of panic in the Mayor’s office?
LIPSTICK ON A PIG
The Myer makeover materialised from an architectural competition and is described in Spin City’s publicity as world class. It is not. It is simply putting lipstick on a pig. The style is a Neo Lavatorial throwback to the 60s similar to that used in the  in the east end of the city. That too was promised to be a miracle trading area for the city. The area is now little more than a third world eyesore with a promised hotel development put on hold and becoming a temporary car park. The new Woolworth’s site, next to St Patrick’s, which we were told would bring life to the east end of the city, is closed after a few years of trading. At least 80 retail and business premises are now visibly vacant in Fremantle’s CBD alone.  The total is probably over 100.
OUTSIDE FORCES BLAMED WITH SMOKE AND MIRRORS SPIN
Outside forces are blamed: the GFC; mining boom collapse; State Government finances et al. Yet other shires flourish while operating under identical state, national and international burdens.
What we are getting is more Spin. Smoke and mirrors distractions: Australia Day; plastic bags; charity collection pillars; speed humps; shopping trolly derby; ‘Yes’ vote. Non of these issues address the core problems facing the city and the spin bait seems to be swallowed hook line and sinker by every member of council.
Does council really need a new administration building? The old one seems to have worn quite well and bears a striking resemblance to the Myer makeover, a carry over from ’60s style architecture. The market in Kings Square has not succeeded in attracting visitors and there is no reason to assume that the glossy spin from Sirona will be any more successful. These lifestyle promotions can result in spectacular failures. An example is the Docklands development in Melbourne which now has retailers and restauranteurs walking away from their leases and apartment owners saying ‘this is not the lifestyle we were promised’.

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Fremantle’s existing  administration building would benefit from a coat of paint and a flashy new market piazza . We could save $50,000,000 using little more than a paint pot.

$1.3 BILLION INVESTMENT MANTRA : ONLY 20% HAPPENING
We are told that investments of $1.3 billion are progressing in the city. They are not. In fact they are nearly all stalled, put on hold. The only visible progress is Sirona’s where we’ll see concrete Botox slapped on Miss Piggy. That is less than 20% of the investments the Mayor claims are happening.
THE ASIAN CONNECTION
Sirona  is a  company with strong connections to  Alvarez and Marsal, a corporation specialising in turning sluggish areas into  sustainable growth. Are Sirona  a pimple on the back of a massive overseas corporation and can we expect to see a sell out? In that respect council have helped  by selling assets at bargain basement prices to Sirona.  Many of the ratepayers’ assets at well below market value. We can be 100% certain that the real winners will be the developers. Who negotiated that deal?

BTHD3095
Homeless on Monument Hill. A number of people have been sleeping here recently. Will this type of image become an epitaph to Fremantle’s once vibrant lifestyle and economy?


NOTE:
Dr Pettitt has been asked to clarify the visitor figures and has been asked whether there was any other reason the Festival Parade has been cancelled.

Roger Garwood

editorbackchat@gmail.com

FREMANTLE: RUNNING ON EMPTY

While council deliver a mantra of sustainability the signs of a collapse in the Fremantle economy is glaringly evident in the CBD.

I took a walk around  the area and counted in excess of 40 properties which are empty, offered for lease, or moving. The total is probably closer to 60 as the Woolworth’s building houses a number of vacant outlets  as does the Coles Woolstore.  These pictures were taken within about 250m of the Town Hall

Very recently one new retail outlet, selling high quality home furnishings and decorations, has closed after six months. It was located in the Mall, opposite the Town Hall. The rent was $240,000,  higher than similar sized properties in downtown New York.

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VILLA, closed after six months about a week ago. The rent was $240,000 a year but trade for this high quality retail outlet  didn’t materialise. This is in Fremantle Mall, opposite the Attwell Arcade development.

Shepherd’s News agency have to move from their prime spot. It holds the longest serving tenancy of Fremantle. The original Shepherd’s News Agency was established in this building in 1908 and the current business owners have been there for 26 years. They now have to move aside for developers.

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Shepherd’s Newsagency have been located in the Manning building  since 1908. They are the oldest  business in Fremantle still operating from the same premises. Now they have to move to make way for development.

The Woolworths shopping centre, next to St Patrick’s, has been closed for a couple of years. It was gleefully broadcast that this would bring new life to the east end of the city. Opposite them the Hilton site, which used to contain a number of shops, is derelict and scheduled to become a temporary car park.

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The Woolstores centre is hosting many empty premises. Even with a carpark in situ it was not able to survive

The centre  hosted about 20 retail and office business’s. They were not included in my count of about 40 empty premises.

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The Hilton Hotel site, due to become a temporary car park. 

CODA, a mainstay of council’s PR sustainability spin, have closed shop and amalgamated with a Perth based company. CODA was a foundation stone of the Future Fremantle organisation, established to build a better Fremantle.

 

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CODA’s vacant office

 

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Coles Woolstores site is home to several vacant retail premises
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A small selection of over 40 empty retail and office premises in the CBD is shown below.

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And finally, in one vacant shop window the mayor delivers his mantra of a vibrant city.

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